Red Bull has dismissed "lurid speculation" that world champion Sebastian Vettel had a temper tantrum and refused to drive during the opening test in Jerez.
The team has struggled throughout pre-season but has made light of "a major news broadcaster" reporting that Vettel threw a "hissy fit" and would not drive the RB10 until problems had been rectified. Posting on the official team website, the Red Bull Spy, who called the RB10 "a complicated beast", rubbished the report from the unnamed news outlet.
"Run that by me again? I suppose it could be true," Red Bull Spy said. "Maybe four World Championships really have turned him into a screaming primadonna. Perhaps what really happened is Seb leapt out of the car and started foaming at the mouth. He made a very rude gesture in the direction of Adrian, snarled at Rocky, kicked Ole in the spanners and then stormed out of the garage, saddled his unicorn and rode back to Switzerland."
Red Bull Spy also made reference to Vettel's fierce rivalry with former team-mate Mark Webber.
"Seb, meanwhile has sent us a postcard, and says he's really sorry for all the fuss. He'll be back soon but has decided to chill for a while by spending a couple of weeks watching daytime soaps and eating crisps 'round at Mark's house."